The Human Family

It would be hard at this time of year not to reflect on family life. In my own family there were three major family holiday gatherings in two weeks. On December 12 my father's family gathered -- which means all of the people descended from my paternal grandparents. Then a week later my sister and brothers, and our children gathered followed by a gathering on Christmas Day with my children and their families. There were as usual lots of stories and opportunities to reconnect. And these stories set me to thinking not only about my own family but about some of the stories I have heard from my extended human family around the world. 

A year ago my youngest grandson was born 3 months early weighing only 3 pounds,  when my daughter, his mother, had complications that could have cost the lives of both of them --- except that we live in a wealthy country and she has medical care and was close to a very good neonatal care facility. My grandson was the tiniest infant I had ever held and I didn’t even get to hold him for nearly a month when he had reached 4 pounds. For a short while all hopes and dreams were limited to survival. Now he is busy trying to catch up with his peers, crawling and pulling himself up and working hard to walk and talk. He is very bright and his mommy is fine. Our family feels blessed.

Not too many weeks ago the world was shaken by a picture of the body of a little boy washed up on a coastal beach in Turkey. He had drowned along with his mother and brother while trying to escape conflict in Syria. Only his father survived. The family had hoped to go to Canada where they had relatives but the Canadian government turned down their request for a visa so the family opted for the more dangerous journey by sea into Europe.

After losing his whole family, which was his entire reason for risking the dangerous journey, the little boy's father went back to Syria along with the recovered bodies of his sons in order to bury them. He no longer hopes to leave. Instead, according to news articles, he is working with other refugee families trying to make their lives a little easier. His brother’s family however has been given the visas to Canada that he had hoped to gain. At least part of that little boy's family will have a chance to start a new life. 

Two weeks ago in New York City a janitor at Holy Child Church returned from his lunch hour to discover a tiny baby wrapped in towels and lying in the manger of the newly constructed nativity scene. His umbilical cord was still attached and he barely weighed five pounds. It seems his mother had determined that her infant son was better off in the care of the church than with her. New York has a law that allows parents to leave a child at a church, a fire station or hospital without any questions asked – this law is designed to for parents who do not want their child and might neglect or abuse the baby, or for parents who know they cannot possibly care for children but want them to live. Many people have applied to adopt the baby including some people from Holy Child Church. 

Last week I heard the story of an immigrant woman who was left in the Arizona desert after escaping desperate poverty and civil unrest in her home country. She had crossed the southern border into the United States. Too weak to walk any farther, she was left by the 'coyotes' - the men who guide people illegally over the border -- having only a small bottle of water and a flashlight to help her attract the border patrol - which would be her only chance of survival. She spent a night fending off two real coyotes who were apparently waiting for her to die. Seeing the coyotes eyes in the dark filled her enough fear to keep her going until she was picked up later the next day by the border patrol. 

After two weeks of rest and recuperation when her frantic family had no idea what had happened to her, the woman was able to join family members who had been anxiously waiting for her. She now has a work permit and is working to send money home for the care of her children who she had to leave behind. Leaving home was the only way she could think to care for them.
   

Just before Christmas a young man I did not know came to ask me for some bus tickets. He was hoping to go home for the holidays. I asked him where he was going thinking that he was going to ask for a greyhound ticket to someplace out of state, but he was only going to a suburban city. I handed him a city bus ticket thinking that surely his family would help him after he got there but he looked distressed and said: I hope they will let me in. So I asked if he would like another ticket just in case he was turned away. He said yes looking very relieved. I wished for him a Merry Christmas and told him I would keep him in my thoughts and prayers as he thanked me and headed out. 

Families are a microcosm of society at large. There are some warm and wonderful families that nurture and provide love, there are others that destroy the spirit and where members fail to thrive. There are families with more than they need and other families with nothing left to lose. But the health of families affects the health of all humanity. Healthy families nurture not only their own members, but the people who come into contact with them. Families that are unhealthy or struggling without assistance spread their distress to those around them. Everything is connected; if we want a world that is healthy, just and peaceful… we have to begin with the smallest unit of society. We begin in our own families but we are connected to the larger human family, which calls us to care for more than just our own. All people are part of our human family.

Living in close proximity and in relationship to others requires compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, along with the ability to forgive and above all to love. In addition we need to live the peace we want to see and have hearts filled with gratitude - which means contentment with what we have over and above our basic human needs.

Even in the best of times family life offers challenges. For families living in poverty, when the head of the household is unemployed, when there is serious illness or incapacity of some kind, challenges increase pressure on the bonds that hold the family together. In situations of war, natural disaster, or other violence, the bonds are further stressed.

All parents are given the responsibility of caring for their children, not as extensions of themselves, but as individuals with their own destiny. Parents have hopes and dreams for their children, but their particular gifts and talents along with the experiences that the child has not only in their family but in their growing social surroundings ultimately shapes who they will become, what opportunities they are given and the pathways open to them as adults.
 

Creating a world that gives children a chance to develop their unique gifts is the responsibility of all people – not just parents. Raising a child is never easy, and if a family is without shelter, food, medical care, education and a safe community in which to live the chances of being successful at parenting is severely limited. Maintaining a loving family environment is overwhelming if a parent or child is trying to cope with mental illness, emotional trauma or addictions on their own. Supporting family life by advocating for fair wages, along with meeting basic needs is in the best interest of all people. 

We are one Human Family. To thrive we must care for the all the vulnerable people and protect the Earth which is our home.